For as long as you can remember, your mom was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. She handled every aspect of the elaborate celebration with such grace. She may have complained about all the work, but handing it over to someone else was never something she would consider.
This year is different. Spending hours in the kitchen has become too tiring, and everyone knows something needs to change. The obvious answer is to have someone else take over. But that solves only one problem. If hosting Thanksgiving has been your mother’s labor of love for decades, giving it up may mean relinquishing much more than just a busy day of cooking.
Changing holiday traditions gets tricky as someone you love grows older. The goal is to figure out what the tradition means to the person at the center of it. Your mom may be perfectly happy to surrender roasting the turkey, but still want everyone gathered around her table. Once you know what she wants to hold onto, you can start making changes that everyone can live with.
5 Ways to Update Holiday Traditions Without Losing the Best Parts
- Hand over the work without taking away the fun. Once you know which parts of a tradition your loved one wants to keep, look for ways to remove some of the work happening behind the scenes. If Thanksgiving is still at Mom’s house, for example, someone else can do the grocery shopping and arrive early enough to help in the kitchen. She can remain the host without being responsible for every detail that goes along with hosting.
- Stop letting the clock call the shots. Holiday schedules have a habit of becoming traditions themselves. Dinner has always been at 6:00, but an older loved one may have more energy earlier in the day. Moving the celebration by a few hours is a small concession if it means they’re able to enjoy more of it.
- Spread things out a little. The holidays can pack a remarkable amount of activity into a very short stretch of time. That pace may become harder to manage with age. Instead of trying to fit every visit and activity into one marathon day, consider what could happen another time. For instance, the annual cookie-baking day can move to a less hectic weekend when everyone has more time and energy to enjoy it. (And the cookies will taste just as good!)
- Have a backup plan before you need one. Older adults can have good days and not-so-good days, and something that sounded perfectly reasonable two weeks ago may be too much when the holiday actually arrives. Talk ahead of time about what you’ll do if your loved one is tired or doesn’t feel up to the original plan. Then you’ll be ready to adjust if needed, perhaps by staying at a family gathering for just an hour or two instead of the whole day.
- Let a new tradition happen naturally. There’s no need to replace every retired tradition with an officially designated new one. Sometimes the things that stick are the things nobody planned. If a change makes the holiday easier and everyone genuinely enjoys it, remember it for next year. After all, most long-standing holiday traditions had a first year, too.
Need a Helping Hand With Holiday Traditions?
At Senior HomeCare of Tucson, we know that a little assistance can sometimes make an enormous difference in how an older adult participates in and enjoys holiday celebrations. Our caregivers are on hand with the right level of support, balanced with a focus on independence, to make this holiday season the best it can be for someone you love.
Want to learn more? Reach out to us any time at 520-355-4787 to learn more about our senior home care in Tucson, Oro Valley, Catalina, and surrounding communities.