Dad has an entire closet full of clothes, yet he’s wearing that same blue sweater again. You suggest something different. He refuses. You point out that the sweater needs to be washed. Now he’s irritated, you’re frustrated, and somehow choosing an outfit has become the hardest part of the morning.
Before assuming Dad is simply being stubborn, take another look. Dressing challenges in older adults can have causes that aren’t immediately obvious, and figuring out what’s getting in the way can make mornings easier for everyone.
When “I Don’t Want To” Means Something Else
Getting dressed involves a surprising number of skills. You need the balance to step into pants, shoulder mobility to pull on a shirt, and dexterity to manage buttons and zippers. You also have to choose appropriate clothes and put everything on in the correct order.
Changes associated with arthritis, balance, mobility, vision, or cognition can turn a familiar routine into a complicated project. Even the clothing itself can become uncomfortable. A waistband may press against sensitive skin. A favorite sweater may suddenly be difficult to pull overhead.
Instead of focusing first on the refusal, try to identify what may be causing it.
Sometimes the Closet Is Part of the Problem
Open a packed closet and consider how many decisions are hiding inside. Which shirt? Which pants? Do they match? Is this appropriate for the weather? Where is the other sock?
For someone experiencing cognitive changes, all those choices can create frustration. You can simplify the decision while still allowing the person to choose. Instead of asking, “What do you want to wear?” try offering two shirts and asking which one they prefer.
You might also organize the closet so favorite clothing is easiest to reach. Removing items that no longer fit comfortably can eliminate another source of frustration. You can also lay out outfits in advance when decision-making has become difficult.
Make the Clothes Work a Little Harder
A few strategic wardrobe changes can make dressing challenges in older adults much easier to manage. Try:
- Elastic waistbands instead of complicated fasteners
- Larger buttons and zipper pulls that are easier to grasp
- Front-opening garments to help someone with limited shoulder mobility
- Adaptive clothing for people with specific physical needs
Comfort deserves attention too. Soft fabrics, properly fitting shoes, and clothes that are easy to move in can make a noticeable difference.
There’s an important caveat: don’t clear out Dad’s favorite outfits and replace everything with sweatpants because they’re easier. Clothing is personal. The person who wore a crisp collared shirt every morning for 50 years may still care deeply about looking put together. Look for easier versions of familiar styles whenever possible so changing physical needs don’t erase someone’s sense of identity.
Give the Clock a Little Less Power
If getting dressed takes 30 minutes now instead of 10, build those extra minutes into the morning. Rushing can quickly raise everyone’s stress level. It can also tempt you to step in and finish tasks the person may still be capable of doing independently.
Let an older adult do as much as possible, even when it takes longer. Perhaps Mom can put on her shirt but needs help with the buttons. Dad may be able to dress independently once his clothes are laid out. Provide help only where it’s needed to promote independence and preserve dignity.
Safety matters as well. Sitting in a sturdy chair while dressing is easier than trying to balance on one foot, and good lighting can help them see clothing and fasteners clearly.
When Getting Dressed Calls for an Extra Set of Hands
Sometimes the morning routine reaches a point where everyone could benefit from help.
A professional caregiver can provide respectful assistance with dressing while encouraging the older adult to continue doing whatever they can independently. Having a familiar caregiver there to help with dressing can also give you one less responsibility to manage and provide another set of eyes to watch out for changes.
At Senior Home Care of Tucson, we provide individualized home care that respects preferences, abilities, privacy, and the routines that help older adults feel like themselves.
Reach out to us any time at (520) 355-4787 to learn how we can help someone you love in Tucson, Oro Valley, Catalina, or the surrounding communities.